As I sit here tonight, I have SOOOOOO much on my mind and heart... The Lord has revealed so much to me just in the last 2 days. As I was driving home from GA yesterday, I played a couple sermons on my ipod (they were suggested by a good friend, Seth). Man, did the Lord show up in my car!!! The first sermon that I heard was on dynamic prayer. Hello, I needed that. It talked about how the Bible tells us to have earnest, heartfelt, and continuous prayer. Ok, I knew that. But my prayers were work! I got repetitive. I thought that I had to discipline myself into having these prayers. This sermon taught me differently! These types of prayers can only come from burning burdens and things that the Lord has placed upon my heart. These things have to weigh heavy on me so that I will earnestly pray these heartfelt things. These things that have become so important and urgent to me. I have been convicted lately of not praying for the people/things that I KNEW needed to be prayed for. Ummm.... My family. Boy, do they need it!!! My friends. I have some that are in desperate need. Orphans. God has placed them on my heart but yet I have not been lifting them up to Him.
So anyway, through this sermon I realized that this carefree personality of mine, that I thought was a good thing, has actually turned out to be... not so good. I've somehow taken this carefree-ness to an extreme. I've wrapped my heart up so tight that I could not feel ANYTHING. Not just the unimportant things that didn't bother me... but the things that SHOULD bother me. I have gotten to a point in my life that nothing gets past my mind. Yea, I think about things... I worry about things... I wonder about things... but that is about as far as they had gotten. Yea, I had uttered a few prayers here and there for these things/people. But man, did the Lord show me how messed up I was!!! It was an amazing revelation. I realized that I have got to let the Lord take away these layers that somehow I have placed around my heart. So, that is my new prayer. It's gonna hurt to take these layers off... It's gonna be painful. I don't like to hurt. I don't like to ache. But as the song "Hosanna" goes... "Break my heart with what breaks Yours..." I wanna hurt for the things that the Lord hurts for. I wanna cry over the things that the Lord cries over. That way only will I fully be able to have a prayer life. A prayer life of continual, heartfelt, earnest prayers. I'm ready for a new ride!! :)
There is more but I will save that for another post.........