Sunday, August 14, 2011


Most of my posts since I've been here have been about the children. 
They are the reason why I'm here. To love them and cherish them. 
But, this trip is about me, too. This trip is about the Lord working in and changing my life. It's about fully relying on the Lord.
Something I've never had to do. I don't have a job. I don't have income. I don't have a plan. All I have is the Lord. 
Faith. It's not easy!
The Lord has been showing me over the past week or so that I don't need to know what's next. I don't need to have a "plan". All I need is to say YES to Him and obey. 
Honestly, I don't like that! 
Human nature makes me want to know what's next. Makes me FRET over what's next. Makes me worry about not knowing what's next.
I've read lately that Confidence in God is wonderful because we are confident that He has the answers when we don't. 
Confidence in the Lord is trusting Him to reveal His answers at just the right time. 
I like to have a plan. I like to know what's next.
Since being here, I feel that the Lord will have me here more permanently in the future. And that's all I know. I don't know why. I don't know how. But I know I say yes.
It's scary. 

I've had a pretty rough week. Very emotional. Very confused. Very frustrated. Things are not really going like *I* thought they would. 
But the more I read the Word of God and talk with Christian leaders I realize, I don't want things to work out like *I* want them to work out. I want them to work out how God wants them to. 
Do I know God's way? No. 
Do I wish I did? YES. 
But He will show me at the right time. 
I will no longer allow the enemy to steal my JOY. 
He tries to steal it by making me worry and fret! Fret over money (always over money, right?) I know the Lord will provide for me here. I KNOW HE WILL. Will it be how I want Him to? Probably not! But He will. When it's HIS time.
He makes me fret about the future. What is my role here? What does the Lord want me to do here?
I don't know! But I know the Lord knows and I know now that He will reveal it to me when it's time.
I know the Lord has called me to LOVE these people. And I don't want to take a minute for granted. I have already been here for 7 weeks! Time has flown by! And the Lord has shown me a LOT. 
I pray that He doesn't stop. Even when I get home. I pray that He shows me what to do. I know He will.He's been SO GOOD to me.
The Lord has shown me a LOT about FAITH.
Please join me in prayer for my future. I only want to go and do the Lord's will. Pray that I'm open and obedient to His Voice.

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