I pause the trip details to....

ask of your prayers tonight. My little buddy, Carlos is sick and in the hospital in El Salvador. He is the one that I formed the strongest bond with while I was there. When I saw him on Saturday, I knew he wasn't feeling well. He is having a lot of trouble breathing, needs blood, and his liver is not functioning properly. They believe that this is stemming from being over medicated and sedated for TOOOOOO long. :( My heart is absolutely breaking being here and not there. I want to be there. To love on him. To pray over him. To make sure that all is being done to help this little man. How different would this scenario be if he were here and in a loving family?? How many people would be at that hospital? Praying over him? Loving on him? Talking to doctors and nurses and making sure that the decisions being made were the right ones? I am thankful, though, that one of our interpreters, Chris, is there. He is the one who informed me of Carlos' status today. He visited him and is looking after him. I just wish I was there, TOO. I do realize that God is faithful and God is with him. But I wish I was there to physically lay my hands on him and pour my love over him.

On Friday of last week, we got to take some of the special needs kids from Cipi to the beach. We had them ALL day. Out of the orphanage and in REAL life. We saw a glimpse of what their lives COULD be like. I had Carlos all day. He felt like mine. I changed him, fed him, sunscreened him, held him while he slept, played in the pool with him, etc. It was the hardest thing EVER to take him back and put him in a crib that wasn't his own. And now, I am here and he is there. I wonder if he is scared, lonely, sad, hurting... If I had the money, I'm pretty sure I'd be on a plane to El Salvador right about now. I ask of your prayers tonight for sweet sweet Carlos. Pray that he can feel real tangible love and peace.

Doesn't he look so content and happy in my arms?! I pray that he can remember that feeling of being held and loved on and that he feels it now while in the hospital all alone.

Day 2 of El Salvador! :)

Ok, so day 2 started out with a trip to Cami. Cami is a school for special needs. The kids here are not orphans. Except for 2. The only reason we came to this school is because of one very special little boy. This little boy is Juancito. He has got to be the. cutest. kid. ever. :) The very first mission trip that Starfish took to ES, they met with the people over La Casa (an orphanage). While there, they were told that all of the kids were at school. But they kept hearing some banging or hollaring or just noises. Everytime they heard a noise the workers would mumble under their breath, "Juancito!" Finally, they asked, "What is Juancito!?" The workers told them that it was a little boy who did not get to go to school because he was "special needs". The orphanage could not afford to send Juan to school so he stayed at the orphanage all day by himself. They asked to meet Juancito and when they did they fell in love. He could not speak and was 4  years old. The Starfish team decided that this little boy HAD to go to school. They could see the potential in him. They came home and decided to pay for Juan to go to school. That was 3 years ago. Now, little Juan is doing SO well!! He even gets to transfer to a regular school in January.













We had so much fun at Cami. We put on our famous puppet show and drama. They colored and they got to show us their classrooms. It was a VERY nice school. I enjoyed it. This little guy is Eduardo. He was such a loveable little dude. Can't you tell?

Sebastian was in Juancito's class. He had such a sweet smile.

After we looked through their classrooms, we had a little BIG dance party! They LOVED it. And so did we. :) We danced for probably an hour! :)

Here is a video for you to enjoy! :)

It was a good day at Cami! :)













After we left Cami and got lunch we headed to a Catholic orphanage. The team had never been here before but some kids that they knew had been transferred here and they wanted to see them. It was a very nice place. We didn't get to stay long but we had fun while we were there. Even though, it's a nice place these kids are still without love and families.

This is the girl's room. Very neat and clean and matching. But still, I cannot imagine having to share a room and not have any personal space.

I loved their little matching shirts. :) They were such sweet little girls. We then went to the cafeteria, did our puppet show, made balloon animals, and gave them all a snack. I played with this sweetie. Her name is Valentina. Isn't she gorgeous?!

We then went to the special needs room! Some of these kids had been at Cipi (the orphanage we were at on Day 1) but got transferred so they had more room. These are the kids some of our team was wanting to see.

These kids were so precious. We just picked them up and loved on them for a while.

She was such a little cuddle bug! :) Natalie was her name and I did NOT want to put her down!

It was a good day! :) So much to take in. It can get very overwhelming! But I am so blessed to be used by God to love on these kids that His heart breaks over!

El Salvador: Day 1!!!

I am so overwhelmed just thinking about blogging about my trip! But I know I have to do it for the memories! So, I will start with Day 1. That was Sunday. We started off by going to Cipi. This is an orphanage that is ran by the government. It is a place where kids are taken when they are found on the streets, kicked out of their house, taken out of bad situations, or abandoned at the hospital. It is supposed to be a temporary  home. But that is not always the case. Some of these children have been there for years. They have different buildings for different ages/needs. The nursery was being redone while we were there so the babies and teen moms were stuck in the same room as the special needs kids. There were probably 25 or 30 kids/babies/teens/toddlers in one room. Cribs and beds lined up along the walls. No beds were assigned. Just wherever they landed. They had no clothes that belonged to them. Outside of this room there was a patio type deal. There the special needs kids get some fresh air. The first kid I met here was "No-No" :) He's a mischievous little booger. And that is how he dubbed the nickname "No-No". He has downs but is so smart. He would thrive so much if he had a family. He immediately took my camera and took like 451 pictures with it! Most of his finger. :)

In this room, I also met Antonio. Antonio is No-No's best friend. They get into some trouble together. :) Antonio has some physical handicaps but seems to be pretty alert and "normal" mentally. Sweet boy would be FINE if  he had had therapy as a baby. No-No took this pic of his best friend. Who also loved the camera. :)






Inside the room was a little overwhelming. Lots and lots of babies, moms, toddlers, special need kids. The kids were lying around and waiting on someone to pick them up. We were a little timid at first but so glad we took a step and just loved on these kids. Ernesto would grab your hand and take it to his chest. He wanted to be loved and touched.

They lay in beds with no sheets.This sweet boy is Salvador. He would just laugh and smile when given some attention.

This sweet baby has hydrocephalus. He had a stent put in to drain some fluid from his brain but still has a very short expected life. The doctors said there was no need to hold or love him because he won't live very long anyway. I thought that was CRAZY!!! That is all the MORE reason to love him. To hold him. To make him feel valued in his short little life. So, we did the best we could to show him we loved him.

I soon spotted a sweet little boy. We couldn't tell how old he was. He had a full set of teeth. But was very small. I went over and touched him and he just grinned!! :) I had no idea how much of a bond the two of us would form the rest of the week. But that will be covered in a later post. Sweet Carlos. Still not sure what his "diagnosis" is.

He cannot sit up and is very "top heavy". He is much bigger in his chest and head than his legs and feet. I would stroke his face and just love him. So. stinkin. precious.

He is such a cuddle bug.










Then I met whom would soon be named "spitter!" He was so sweet. So so so sweet. They had no medical records on him. No birth certificate. Nothing. Didn't even know his name. They named him Brian. He has some issues with swallowing so he simply spits. A LOT. :)

After we helped them bathe the children and change their pee/poop soaked clothes we went over to visit the boys. Wow. These boys have stories that we can never compare to or fathom.

This sweet boy had autism. He was aggressive so they simply sedate him to where he sleeps almost constantly. This breaks my heart for I've seen first hand what attention, love, and therapies can do for a child with autism.





They took a few of the boys and gave us parts of their stories so we could understand the losses they have gone through. I don't have a picture of this boy but he was brought in when they found him severely beat up. He was trying to join a gang. At age 13. He wanted acceptance. He wanted it so bad he was willing to be beaten up. Then next he would have had to kill someone. There is no limit to what these kids do for a little acceptance. Even if it negative.


This boy was one of many children in his family. He always had to fight for food. He finally decided to go work for his own money. He was 5. He cleaned buses. He was paid 50 cents per bus. He would keep a quarter and take a quarter to his mom. When they found him on the street, he was drunk. At age 5. The men he was cleaning buses for gave him alcohol. I guess for entertainment... I'm not sure why else?! But how sad. He was simply trying to feed himself and help his mom.






From there we went to the girls' room. There are girls all over this place! Most of them have stories similar to the boys. Neglected. Forgotten. Craving love, attention, value. Some have been molested. Some have been abused. They have hurt and anger. They feel dirty and tainted. Some have had babies. But all of them LOVE having their picture made!! I took many pictures of these girls simply because they asked me to. And if a click of a camera and a peek of themselves on my screen can make them smile then by george, i'll take their picture! We did a craft with them where we traced their hand. It was a way we could touch them appropriately and show them compassion. We placed a sticker with Jeremiah 29:11 on it. Very appropriate, I thought. They then wrote things about themselves. Some didn't know what to write. Some wrote a lot. 

After we visited with the girls, we went to lunch. After lunch we returned to Cipi. We split up and went to each group again. The Henderson's put on their puppet show for each group, the men painted faces, and a group painted all the girls' fingernails and did their hair. I mainly stayed with the special needs kids. :) What can I say? I'm drawn to them! I hung out some more with Carlos.

We soon found out that after the kids are bathed and changed, they are placed in wheelchairs (Even the ones that can walk just FINE!) And tied. Tied to the chair and the chair to the railing. And they sit. For hours. They strip their clothes, kick, spit, hit, scream, anything to pass the time.

Both of the boys in this picture can walk. And walk fine. The one on the right has his hands tied down, too. They tie his hands because he gags himself until he throws up. I've seen this kid while not tied.... Never saw him gag himself. I am convinced that it is out of pure boredom!

 

Is this baby not the CUTEST!?!?! He was soooo sweet. But a little spoiled. Did NOT want to be put down!

Even a tender touch of love can mean so much to them. We just hung out with these kids for a while.

 

 

It was hard to leave them but we knew we would see them again this week. More to come....

We made to El Salvador!! It has been going reAlly well with so far! Got to love on some kids with special needs today! Absolutely precious! Follow more on www.starfishorphanministry.blogspot.com

Headin' Out!

Well, my bags are packed (sorta), I'm ready to go... but I'm not standing outside anyone's door! :) haha. I'm heading out to El Salvador in just a few hours!! I'm excited!!! Although, the devil didn't even wait for me to get there to start attacking! But he will NOT be joining me on this trip. I forbid him. He's staying home! :) Please be praying for me and the team as well as the kids and orphans that we will come in contact with!! I hope to be able to update my blog/facebook while I'm gone. I know that you can go here and check for updates if there are not any from me! Thanks in advance. I'll be back soon with LOTS of pictures.

Birthday!!!! :) :)

Today is mine and Gunner's birthday! :)

Summer, Birthday, Mission Trip...

I CANNOT believe that my summer break is HALF over! :( I am usually gone most of the summer and it goes by fast but I feel productive. This summer, I've done a LOT of nothing. Don't get me wrong, I've been busy! But it just hasn't seemed to amount to much. I have enjoyed it though because we have spent lots of time HERE...

I was glad to see my sis for a few days!! (She's been in Nashville for the summer!)

And I've gotten to spend a LOT of time with these kids... :) Reminds me of summers in high school when I had them ALL. THE. TIME. :) Now, they are so grown. :(

Gracie has discovered that she LOVES to tell you to take a "pikdur". :) 

We got to go to "Granpa's" house (who is my dad) and spend Father's Day. 

Gracie loved picking the apples!

She's pick and eat... pick and eat! 

She had to show Pa (like he didn't already know about them! It's his yard. :)) But he was happy to oblige. 

There were some apples way up high that Callye and I wanted. :)

They had SO much fun in the dirt! :)

That has been about the gist of my summer! But I've enjoyed it. :) And, this week I will be 24! What is the big deal about 24? I'm not too excited about it. Although, if I admit, I love the attention that you get when it's your birthday! :) haha.

Then, on the 16th, I am leaving for El Salvador!! I'm very excited, but also a little nervous about my trip. I'm not nervous about traveling or being gone for a week, or even going with basically strangers. The thing I am nervous about is my own heart. We are working strictly in orphanages. You see, I know how I feel about them just looking at their pictures, and I will be seeing them face to face. Holding them. Playing with them. Loving them. and LEAVING them. I already ache thinking about it. But, it is reality and I am doing what God is calling me to do. I know if it makes my heart ache it sure makes HIS. But my prayer has been for God to break my heart with what breaks His. And boy, is He gonna do it. That is what it requires for us to act like He has called us to act. I am so excited to be going somewhere that the Lord has called me to go. Please pray for me!

So, I've been in a blogger funk. I follow so many blogs of adoption, families with kids trying to keep families informed, or people that are just awesome at blogging... but me, I don't feel like I have much to blog about! So, I will give you what I have. It may be boring but I am blessed... and speaking of boring but blessed, that used to be my blog name... As you can tell, my blog looks a little different! I warned you this would happen! I also renamed it to Life to the fullest. Because although our lives are all drastically different, as long as we are living the life God called us to live, then our life it the fullest it could possibly be! :)

I think I have GOT to be the most random/scattered/mixed up blogger in this "Blogosphere". 

AND...Enough of the rambling run-ons....The End. :)