Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Being in His will not His way...

I thought I had my whole summer figured out... But God has other plans.

I thought ok, since this is what I've done the past 3 summers, then that is what I'll do this summer, too. I will work Souled Out, go to Nicaragua, and then for a little extra this year I may go to El Salvador (if it works out). Well, while at Doug and Amy's this weekend I got the email from the operator of Starfish Orphan Ministry. It is much like Reece's Rainbow, in whom I have fallen in LOVE with. It is a more local ministry. They draw awareness of the orphans in our area and around the world. Ok, back to the email... She was describing their typical trip to El Salvador. Since you know from my previous posts that God has been laying orphans on my heart, as  well as down syndrome kids. And this trip she was describing sounded JUST like what I want to do. And better yet, what God wants me to do.

Again, I was thinking "ok, I will do S.O., Nicaragua, and then go to El Salvador in July". But I kept getting this feeling that maybe I was not supposed to go to Nica. And if you know me, you know I LOVE that country, the friends I have made there, and the kids there. So, this was hard for me to think about. I said to myself "but what harm can it do?" and I still don't think it will do harm... BUT when I was talking to mom about El Salvador she asked if I meant instead of Nica... I replied no, since I was still trying to forget that feeling. She said she thought it was an either or situation.... I started to get defensive. Since that is what you do with your mom! :) I thought and prayed for a little while and then talked to Doug. He will tell you the truth and not care if it is what you want to hear or not.... He, too, said he thought I should do El Salvador instead of Nica... BOO! I wanna do BOTH! But, one thing mom said was that if  I went when God said NO then I would be in His WAY not His WILL! Ok, ok. Doug made it clear to me that Nica wouldn't be bad for me but with the desires God has been placing on my heart for orphans and down syndrome kids then Nica would not fill those desires... I understand. Kicking and screaming, I understand. I know God has placed orphans and down syndrome kids on my heart for a reason and I cannot ignore that. El Salvador will give me what I am looking for. It will show me if that is really what God is calling me to. Nicaragua, I have experienced. El Salvador, I have not. Nica is comfortable, convenient, and predictable to me. Not that that is a bad thing! It isn't. But El Salvador is new, unpredictable, and will give me new experiences and will broaden my spectrum some! So, God willing, this summer I am going to El Salvador!!!!!!!!!! :) But not Nicaragua! :( But I know that there will be friends to be made and kids to fall in love with in El Salvador!!

Did I mention that she attatched a few pictures of some orphans that they see every year who have down syndrome?! Hispanics and Down syndrome my 2 favorite things... in one! :) I can't wait.

And furhter affirmation that I am not supposed to go to Nica is that it and Souled Out were overlapping... I had been stressing myself on how to do both and now I know I can focus on S.O. and the girls I will work with and not worry about getting to Nica!

So my goal in life is to stay in God's WILL not His WAY!! :)

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