I finished up in my apartment today and I am officially moved out. I've moved out of a lot of places but this move has a little more meaning than normal. First of all, it means my time with Ann is over. She is as happy as she can be in the nursing home. She doesn't even realize that I'm not with her all of the time. I think that is a blessing. I enjoyed those 8 months with her. They for sure weren't all good months and I know I didn't do all that I could have for her but I believe they were happy times for her. Our times on the deck eating ice cream, our walks down the road, our suppers together, her calling me "Mo" and then when I would leave she would say "Mo Go", her leaving me notes, and her doing the laundry and dishes and feeling good about "helping" me will always be sweet memories with Ann. She taught me a lot.
This move also is a sign of the time coming closer to me leaving here and doing missions. This is the Lord releasing me of something holding me down here. I feel that the Lord is taking away every excuse that I have to not GO. Another sign of this is my car. My car was for sure totaled. Paid for. No longer a responsibility of mine. No longer a payment over my head and holding me down.
Not only that but the Lord has provided a car for me to drive. A FREE car. Now, it's nothing new, pretty, nice, or special but that FREE makes it look a WHOLE LOT better. Jason had a car a few years ago that he used some. It was paid for. It was just an "extra". Jason's brother was in need of a vehicle so Jason gave him this car a couple years ago. And just THIS week, his brother calls and says he is getting another vehicle and wanted to know if Jason wants this car back.
**Edit: this exact free car did not work out! The Lord provided another vehicle that is basically free! :)
Coincidence? I don't think so. God? YES!
I am just amazed at how God is taking care of everything for me. How He cares enough for ME to take care of all of these details in my life. He is closing chapters but in doing that He is opening new ones. He is showing me that He's ready for me to GO and do something. I get so excited about GOING and then sometimes it hits me that GOING also means LEAVING. Leaving my family. Leaving my friends. I know this is a piece of it. It's part of it. I'm willing to do this. Even when it hurts. I just stand amazed at how God loves me enough to call me. To fix it all so that I can GO when He's ready. I'm so unworthy. But I'm thankful!